"You have it all figured out. Seeya, little sis."

Episode: YuiChapter 9: Machine

“. . .It’s over.”My words take on a deprecating tone.“I know what happened! The ‘T.M.’. . .that’s you, isn’t it?! You. . .you caused all of this, Takuya! You experimented on people! You. . .turned them into mindless, bloodthirsty. . .monsters! I. . .you. . .why!?”An emotional stroke passes through me. I know why.“Why? That’s what I want to know! From everything in. . .in the archive, there was no explanation of why you guys did this! Who is ‘H.S.’?! Where are they?!”. . .it’s the fact that I know, very well, that my motivations will fall flat. Just like the middle C of Fantaisie-Impromptu, just like helping Mei Okuyama. . .me, wanting to save the world, will never happen. I’m not strong enough.“. . .Takuya!”An uneasy amount of time passes that we wait in silence. I can’t see her expression from here. . .only the glint of unwavering, steely eyes that look down at me like we aren’t even sisters. As I stare to them, desperately, I try to discern the thoughts in her head. What is she thinking, right now, as I confront her of a crime of irredeemable value?The question settles in my mind. I try to correct my already-spoken words. “. . .it’s. . .it’s fine! I’m not upset with you. . .I don’t care what happens after this, I. . .I just want to know why!” It’s too late.Nothing changes. She’s just. . .looking at me, robotically. I’m stilled to the root, unable to say anymore that would suffice what I feel I’ve already ruined.That’s. . .just who I am. A pessimist who disguises herself as an optimist. A failed rockstar who turned to a soulless piano. A survivalist of lacking confidence.Amidst the quietude joined by howling winds, I catch sight of Takuya’s shoulders heaving. She’s laughing, quietly, enough that I can faintly hear. My self-conscious thoughts reach a halt upon this gesture; and, I catch myself looking up to her once more with tearful eyes.What do I look like, to her. . .?That’s what I want to know.“. . .I guess I’m not a match for you,” I hear Takuya quietly say, her voice firm as always. “You said you don’t care. You have it all figured out. Seeya, little sis.”She draws out a revolver at a speed that my eyes cannot follow. Tucked away in the depths of her mysteriously-large lab coat, hugged nicely between the fingers of her bony hand, tousling the trigger —— and, I yell out something that I can’t hear, my volume severed by the sound of a bullet colliding with her skull.. . .Her lifeless balance takes over. The body comes fumbling down from the warehouse’s roof.It splatters against the ground.

". . .there’s not much I can do anymore, Ayame."

Episode: YuiChapter 8: Venus

Aruto Hisakawa was always the most interesting man to me.I grew up without a lot of male figures in my life; so, having him now, as a mentor. . .I think it just piqued my curiosity. A trained survivalist in his forties, who never goes in-depth about his family despite them meaning everything to him. . .a former rockstar who abandoned that past, similarly to me, to become a classical musician. Despite the latter possessing a similarity, the entire being of Aruto was shrouded in mystery.However, there he was, standing upon the concert hall that was raided by acanters long before and abandoned upon the final recital. With his Les Paul in his tow, I watched as his fingers danced along each string and boomed with sound along the amplifier. I don't think any of our colleagues in the past would expect this from him.Even though he seemed as open as he was, moving his bandaged fingers across the fretboard, I still feared that he was more closed-off than ever. I feared that he was holding something close to him that wouldn't reveal amidst the performance. Despite this lingering feeling that something was wrong, I watched in awe.In reality. . .that lingering feeling exists everywhere we go. We can't rid it, no matter how many songs we play or how far we run. I think that's why Aruto gave up on what was holding him back. The song that he stated belonged to a former band of his continued onward, bringing respite to all of our downcast days that deluged us in this pandemic.A metronome ticked in our heads. A musician's natural behaviors. Beside me sat Sugihara, who was transfixed on the movement of Aruto's injured hands, who did not share this solidarity that I could hold with Aruto.Maybe. . .one day, I'll teach Sugihara the guitar. Granted, she seems more like a bass girl.As I glance to her wonder-filled countenance, I take heed of her wavering eyebrows. The twist along the edges and the furrow against her eyelids — and then, I hear the causation of this reaction.The strings that Aruto bend begin to falter along the metronome we're following together. His fingers fail to press down against the frets, causing a few notes to fall flat. As my mentor and the man who taunted me for my single-missed note in Fantaisie-Impromptu, the same shock that Sugihara wears starts to fall to me.What's. . .going on?Abruptly, all sound comes to a pause. His left hand mutes the strings; and, I catch note of the stiffness in his right hand.". . .Hisakawa?"His baggy eyes shoot open wide, once Sugihara mumbles his name. We're both left in confusion as he suddenly collapses to his knees, arms shot out and stiff as they fail to break the fall. The amplifier blows out as the cord disconnects, the strike of the strings hitting the stage's floor first before Aruto himself.I yell out his name and launch to my feet. Expectedly, Sugihara follows suit, the sudden stretch of her legs contrasting her forever-tired mannerisms. We rush to the stage, Sugihara standing to the side as I leap atop it.Aruto is collapsed on the stage floor. The guitar is under him, frictioning discomfortably against his ribs and his torso. If there's one thing I know about Aruto. . .is that he looks like a bear; but, he's just about the lankiest guy I've ever seen.The fatigue plaguing his body is proof of that. Faint on the ground, fingers trembling as he cannot provide himself the support to rise, I recall him on the day of our final recital, at the Kyunayuki.He's too weak to even hold a gun.

"It's just the beginning."

Episode: YuiChapter 10: It's Just The Beginning

"Don't cry, come on. . ."I hold Kozue closer to me. My left arm crosses over the square of her bony back, and my right hand caresses the back of her head. Upon feeling the edge of her one twintail, a sudden necessity draws over me; and, I end up leaning backward from our half-hug.". . .?"With those violet eyes, unnatural, yet beautiful, she stares up at me curiously. I start to undo the two twintails she had been tucking her hair into for all of this time, revealing the hairstyle I had been accustomed to for as long as I've known Kozue Yakasa.Her black hair billows past her shoulders — only somewhat, though. Everything about her. . .everything about her, except for those eyes — it's the same. I quickly realize that I've become as emotional as she has, my head pounding with a fatigue that I can ignore in the midst of this moment of finality.How long have I longed to experience this again? I tousle her hair, holding her by the back of her head to inch her closer. When our parted lips reach an acceptable distance, though, she abruptly lowers her chin and stifles a laugh."Huh. . .?"I lower my hand from where it rests on the back of her head, eyeing her expression with the same curiosity she had just longfully stared at me with. "Oh. . ." The realization humorously passes over me. ". . .that's right, you're ticklish on your neck."My hand had moved down slightly. It was struggling to keep itself upward, given the tiredness holding itself within me. I take a deep breath in as to suppress it, continuing to keep Kozue close to me, like before.I'm so thankful, I think. When I thought that I couldn't help Mei Okuyama, or save her from whatever was afflicting her being. . .. . .I now get to experience the pleasure of standing here with my reunited lover. It's the greatest thing to happen to me. "Kozue. . ." I quietly murmur, whispering her voice in the same way I had in years past. ". . .I'm. . .so sorry."". . .?" Again, she stares at me with those widened, violet eyes. I cannot glance away from them."I had so many suspicions about you. . .and, not man. .y. . . .were. .k. .ind. . . ."My words slur.". . .Yui?"—— That was likely when my consciousness had first faltered.Each moment passes in a blur. I cannot conceptualize what is happening to my body in the midst of my blackened state. There is nothing to see, nothing to hear, nothing to feel. It was the same as sleeping in a lucid dream. That's exactly what it was, really. Our sweet moment soured in an instant; and, I knew exactly what caused it.. . .Takuya Miwa. My eyes open to nothing. I can no longer see anything but red and black, bulging past my eyelids in a bumpy texture that discomforted my eyelids that could no longer shut. The consciousness returned. At once, I understood what Takuya's intentions were in taking her own life.Kozue screams. No, Mei screams. Any hint of Kozue remaining had disappeared with the illness encumbering my body. Now, I was flayed across the ground, still conscious with pressure smoldering my breast. Mei has nothing else to do. I have nothing else I can do. It's just the beginning, I realize.

"You don’t know that girl, Sawa. You don’t know what she can do."

Episode: SawaChapter 4: You're A Little More Human

Yuma was shooting past our makeshift sniper's nest, an unbefittingly-stern look pressed to her face. Yikes. She's not really the girl who can suit an expression like that. She'll likely grow up to have a vein pushing out of her forehead."What's yer issue?" I question her, silently cursing myself for even entertaining the notion of starting a conversation.". . .Nothing," she quietly replies, continuing to shoot and reload at a novice's pace.I've been down this route a few times. Not specifically with Yuma (as she wears her heart on her sleeve); but, with other girls in my life. "Nothing" usually means that there is "something." It's a cheat code to survival, much like everything else we're learning in the midst of this pandemic."No one says 'nothin'' when there's somethin'. Yer gonna attract more of 'em with all'a that sound, too," I say as I seat myself on the ratted couch.Another bullet rings out; and, I start to question whether it's safe for her to be shooting like that without any ear protection. I don't voice these concerns, though, simply allowing Yuma Souya to continue deafening herself.. . .. . .The silence between us is ongoing. The only thing severing it are Yuma's movements with her sniper rifle. I'm left to silently stare at the blurriness of the back of her head, spotting the small ponytail that she never takes out billowing against her head. Sometimes, I wonder if that piece of hair is actually exposed nerves from her brain sticking out from her head. It would explain a few things about Yuma's behaviors.The acanters keep closing the distance, the more that Yuma shoots. As more time passes, it rises to a level in which even I start to grow concern. Right now, only the two of us are here — and, god knows what else Yuma is going to attract by continuing to mindlessly shoot."Yuma——""Why do you keep hanging out with that one girl?". . .While her words would suggest her taking on an aggressive tone, Yuma sounds unusually calm. That's my signal that the "nothing" she was referencing posed a different meaning. "That one girl?" I inquire, requiring clarity."The green-haired one. The one that keeps asking about the Flower of Life. You seem like you hate her."The bullets she was outpouring come to a pause. I'm actually thankful, even given our surplus of ammunition."I don't hate Renge, shockingly. She's just a little weird; n', ya know, yer a little weird, too. There's nothin' wrong with that."I hear a quiet laugh. It's not the usual kind."It's unusual of you to sound so sweet," Yuma quietly says, lowering the sniper rifle off from the nest. She sets it down beside her from the foregrip, rotating whilst sitting to face me. Despite how sour she had seemed, Yuma wore her usual smile, resulting in me to silently interrogate her usage of the word "unusual."It's a little unusual of you to sound so serious!"I'm trying to say that you shouldn't overstep. You don't know that girl, Sawa. You don't know what she can do.". . .I can only sigh. Unlike the some of us, I'm not scared of Renge Yamabuki. "It's 'cause she's smarter than you, isn't it?" I ask, unable to hide the smug look beginning to grace my cat-like face.

". . .Yuma. . .there’s. . .no way. . ."

Episode: SawaChapter 6: Whistleblower

"Where's Yuma?!"As we run, I hear Renge yell out to me. It's a rarity to hear her volume raise to even more than a clear voice; therefore, it doesn't fail once to catch my attention. I turn to her, arms pumping in a flee, eyes squinted to see the glimpse of green that would guide me to her whereabouts.. . .right beside me. Once her question has registered to me, I crane my neck to face the mutated thing that was challenging us before. At once, clarity strikes my haughty eyes in a way that it never has before — I am left to see details unlike any other that sever my inability to see in an instant.—— Of course. I am forced to see the things I do not want to see.The shock of my vision wavering catches me off-guard and my feet stumble, unable to catch themselves as they usually would. I tumble straight to the ground and hear nothing but the sound of my body grating up against dirtied snow and Renge yelling out to me.My breaths are heavy. Soon enough, the other sounds I was hearing are drowned out by my heaves and my heart's beating. Thumping against my breast and transfixing itself to my own head, I stare down the sight before me, wishing that the "Alice in Wonderland syndrome" wasn't all in my head. . .". . .Yu. .ma. . . ."She's being lifted. The creature before me, a harbinger to my insanity, a monster that belonged anywhere other than the present. . .I watched Yuma's body tear into two, the sound of flesh splitting impeding on my breaths and my heart.Everything stops. I can't breathe.Yuma. . .". . .Yuma. . .there's. . .no way. . ."My words are silent, even when I try to speak them. I am certain that no one can hear them — not even myself. Blood flickers through the air in links, decorating the ground like a brutal confetti that was parading on Yuma's demise. The girl who had followed me around all of this time, the girl who always took every insult with a smile, the girl who lit up a room no matter its mood. . .. . .now she was being littered across the ground, her cadaver fractioned into pieces of different variety. The upper half of her skull there, one eye still in place while the other one had been long-missing; the lower half of her right arm there, clattering to my right as I catch sight of that one birthmark on her hand. . .. . .that's what it looks like, huh?I had never seen it like this. I had never seen anything like this. I had never seen like this. The world was falling apart. I was falling apart. I was brought to my knees, left to stare at the sight of it all crumbling apart.My lips part. I try to yell. Nothing happens. I hear the movement of a gun beside me, noting the presence of a barrel lifted against my head. "Sawa," a stern voice suddenly demands, more firm than I had ever heard it before, "Don't move.". . .I'm not moving. I can't move. I can't do anything. Renge stares me down as I stare down my bespattered friend.. . .. . .my friend. . .

"You’ll be our whistleblower, Wagner."

Episode: SawaChapter 6: Whistleblower

"We know, so far, that the CO of the Canterville Facility is someone with the initials, 'S.D.' In addition to that, we also know that the XO was 'T.M.,' Bakumi Tougou, before 'H.S.,' Takuya Miwa, killed them."The brutal description doesn't change from what the four of us already knew about the Canterville Facility. In spite of the demise of Bakumi detailed by Renge Yamabuki, I can't help but to notice how pleasant her voice sounds when she's saying more than four words at once. She should talk more often."The virus was incited by Takuya Miwa. To further the actual goal of Canterville Facility, whatever it may be, the acanter virus was created by the lab partner of Tougou in a medicine called. . ."As Renge hesitates, Mei finishes the sentence for her in the soft-spoken voice she always possesses: "Cantatoxiphetamine.""Cantatoxiphetamine," Renge repeats, assuring her knowledge on the term as she persists her summary, "The acanter virus is recreated by the dangerous combination of several medicines and poisons, the primary poisoning reminiscent of the paralytic shellfish illness. Alongside chemotherapies like campath and cytoxan, MAO inhibitors, amphetamine stimulants, and antithyroid agents, the illness is a viral infection that brews from. . .Cantatoxiphetamine."These are all medicines that anyone can obtain if they have the correct diagnosis for it. I. . .I received both campath and cytoxan at one point; and, Yuma is an example of someone with amphetamine stimulants. The only other requirement for some kind of prescription for these medications are major depressive disorder and a form of hyperthyroidism."Yuma chews on her bottom lip, staring down at the opened journal in front of Renge. Written in (as Yuma described it to me), "squished-yet-clear" handwriting are the same details that Renge is reiterating now, in her voice befitting of a public speaker."You ever done a speech before, Renge?""Shut up, Sawa—!" Yuma immediately interrupts my question, flailing her two arms out to the side. "This is so ridiculous! I can't believe someone was able to cause such a mess with that little!"". . .no, there's more to it," Mei quietly clarified, her two hands resting on the opposite elbows as she glared to Yuma. Those cold-hearted, violet eyes never failed to make Yuma quiet at once, as she continued speaking in her lowered volume: "Those five agents, with the shellfish poisoning included, are just the primary 'ingredients,' if you want to put it in simpler terms. There's more medicines and poisons; along with other interferences like conditioning and nerve experimentation."I don't want to imagine what kinds of "nerve experimentation" exists from Mei's statement. While Renge and I ruminate on those words, Yuma launches into an outburst at Mei for suggesting something like 'simpler terms.'Once more, I bring my haughty stare down to the journal. All that I can see are lines upon lines of blurriness; but, it doesn't take my syndrome long to account for the fact that the detail is outstanding. Renge must have dedicated an effort akin to mine and Yuma's in figuring this whole thing out. . .. . .when I look up to her, though, I spot her already staring at me. Those impassive eyes catch me off guard as I clear my throat, the raspiness of my noise silencing both Yuma and Mei's quiet squabble instantly.". .as Renge deals with the writin' portion of everythin', I'm goin' t'a deal with distribution and gettin' the word out there. There was radio equipment in one of the rooms in the Canterville Facility durin' one of the instances I checked it out with Yuma; and, we learn'd that it belonged to a person named Masumi Iwoji. When Yuma looked more into this person, we found out that they were responsible for some wild-ass hackin' crimes throughout the eighties.". . .we'll use that equipment. As for who'll be broadcastin' this message to all, I origin'lly thought Renge would be the best choice as she wrote everythin'. . .but, I let the thought sit for longer. Why not have the person who was most accustom'd t'a all of the Canterville-BS take the stand here. . .?"I glance to Mei. She follows suit, looking to me. In a firm voice, I pronounce, "You'll be our whistleblower, Wagner."

"That moment would come to be one of realization that I am, by definition, a single word: vile."

Episode: SawaChapter 5: Codename: Wagner

"Sawa, this might explain something," I hear Yuma call out to me from across the archive.My attention is quickly piqued, given the lack of enthusiasm that usually is taken on through her words. I set down the folder I was narrowing my eyes to for the past ten minutes and walk over, spotting the item within Yuma's hand: a notebook, with a majority of the pages ripped out. The spine was visible, even to me, from the distance I was standing at when facing the open book. Only ten pages remained present, reading words in handwriting that I could recognize as belonging to the elusive "H.S.""Read it out to me," I quietly ask of Yuma, listening close for the following excerpt."'I stared down at Bakumi's fresh corpse lying. . .supine, on the. .mortuary cart. It was that moment, too, when I realized what the reality of these experimentation cots were: they were just people waiting to die. These were the beds that they and I had to lie on before. Their. . .two eyes I previously found myself lost in lost their color and were. .doused in a familiar deep, red substance that I normally associate with those of the. . .abominations I am responsible for."'I should have been grieving; and yet, I was preoccupied with the distraction in the form of a less-than-fortunate view of. . .their prefrontal cortex? Half of it. The feeling of grief I was intending to feel was replaced with an identifiably empty, shallow nothingness. . .a part of me wanted that moment to stay as it was forever; however, I know it will not."'That moment would come to be one of realization that I am, by definition, a single word: vile. My love. . .Takuma Mikagani, I am sorry. I should have taken the. . .overconfidence as a signal. I should have realized something was horribly wrong. I should have taken your place."'After all, the reason why you are gone now is the reason why I wear this scar.'". . .. . .Time passes, uneasily. Yuma and I glare down the pages of the disheveled journal in a mingling mess of emotions. I don't have to glance to Yuma for even a second to understand that we are both confused as to what to feel to these words, left to look at them in quietude.. . .". . .Takuma Mikagani. Is this. . .'T.M.'?"I shut down Yuma's lingering thought with my own clarity: "That wouldn't make sense. Our Bakumi is also referred to as 'Takuma' in this. It's not a completely different person."As I glance to Yuma, I hear her quietly breathe out a sigh. I'm not able to discern if it was one of annoyance or relief; however, her next words help me to determine that it was one of resilience. "No, I know it isn't a completely different person. Have you seen any kind of log of patients in the facility? Anywhere in the archive?"Yuma brings her stare to me; and, we glance to each other's eyes silently. Where she can see everything written in mine at once, I cannot see nothing of hers. Quietly, I reply, ". . .There's gotta be one. Not any that I've seen; but, it wouldn't make sense for 'em t'a not have 'em."Immediately, I step away from Yuma to scavenge the walls. "After all," I start, reassuring my thoughts, "Our 'H.S.' would have been able to walk away from this facility for good like they had mentioned they were intending to. From the appearances and the practices of this shithole, it'd be a shock if they didn't have somethin' like that in order."

"All of our dreams, future and past, written in one book."

Episode: SawaChapter 7: Goodbye

I'm not sure what it is about this hilltop that we all have come to call "Kyunayuki," but, Renge seems to enjoy coming here more frequently than I would like to be requested to. Standing at the edge of the hilltop with an item in her hand, I close the distance of the foggy air to determine what it is in her possessions that she chooses to stand there enigmatically with.The closer I get, I realize it's a book — an open-faced one, at that. Across it are lines detailing something that I could not possibly discern from this distance, along with tabs of different-colored paper stuck to the top. "Sawa," I quietly hear Renge state as I draw closer and closer to her on the hilltop. ". . .this wasn't in the Canterville Facility."—— And suddenly, my footsteps come to a halt.I stare down at the book, unrecognizable to my eyes. Renge spots me squinting down at it, lifting up the book so that the front cover is facing me. Before I can step any closer to determine what the text on the front reads, Renge draws her ungloved hand over the yellow lettering: "'The Canterville Ghost,'" she reads aloud.". . .Huh. What's it about?" I ask, my interest piqued by its name."No, it is not about the title of the book itself, it is about what is inside of the book." Her lack of using contractions throws me off guard, only before Renge flips around the book to show me the pages once more. I see the different-colored tabs stuck to the top once more, along with handwriting that I cannot read. ". . .Sawa, at any point, do you remember keeping a dream journal?"My eyebrows wrinkle. ". . .No, I wouldn't really have any interest in doin' somethin' like that. Dreams are just dreams n' I can't write, either.""Exactly." Renge replies firmly, her voice both unchanging and eager to express this to me. "You cannot write. Look at the page I am opened on. The one on the right.". . .The direction of this conversation seems to be pulling nowhere. I gently reach my hands forward, removing the aforementioned 'dream journal' from Renge's grip and into my own hands. It's dense and filled to the brim with these colored tabs taped off to the side of the pages, serving as some kind of key to something. I hesitate to press my face to the book; but, Renge seems to be waiting on that.It's a humorous thing to look at. That's why I hesitate. But, when I do it, and squint my eyes across the pages, I hear nothing from Renge. In fact, the only thing I hear is the cold wind swirling around us, surrounding the hilltop and its heavy air. . .. . .as I scrutinize the page, I find indescribably-horrible handwriting. The person who wrote on this page had no sense of how to work a pencil or how to stay on the lines, for that matter. When I go to insult this person's handiwork, I hear Renge say in a soft-spoken voice, ". . .It is yours."". . .—?!". . .I've. . .never written in a journal before. . .ever, actually. I've always tried to avoid writing anything; and, yet, here's my own writing, detailing a dream about. . .my mother?I draw my face away from the page. My lips remain parted, mouth hung slightly agape as I try to wrap my brain around the change of events. I consider the possibility of maybe having done this in some kind of subconscious way, or maybe I have another personality, or. . .". . .It says, 'money is the driving force of the world.' It is hard to read." Renge clarifies it to me, gently taking the book out from my hold. My hands were already loosened on it. "It is. . .not just your dreams. It is yours, it is mine, it is Yuma's. . .it is Mei's, and two other people. . .who I do not know, not yet."My eyes, usually squinted and trying to discern the environment, are now wide open as I glance to Renge. "All of our dreams, future and past, written in one book. . .and the cover just happens to say, 'The Canterville Ghost.'"

"Hunt the spirit."

The dodecahedron.
Lily of Siwang.

This is one of two drawings within White Series that do not represent any scene within Lily of Siwang. Pictured is the character who plays the spirit, Touko Sugihara, with a cavity in her chest etched by a dodecahedron. This is her representative platonic solid within the Flower of Life; and, each main character of Lily of Siwang has this associated shape.Yui Sawaguchi represents the icosahedron, Sawa Taigyoku represents the tetrahedron, Yuma Souya represents the octahedron, Mei Okuyama represents the hexahedron, Touko Sugihara represents the dodecahedron; and, Renge Yamabuki does not have an associated shape. This is because, along with the platonic solids of the Flower of Life, there are associated elements. Let's break it down into how the Flower of Life is created.The spirit represents the first circle of the Flower of Life. It can generate momentum through will and create another circle attached to the first circle, creating a form titled the "Vesica Piscis." You may recognize this from an earlier drawing; both Touko Sugihara and Yuma Souya are the characters that represent the Vesica Piscis. After the Vesica Piscis is created, the spirit will continuing moving in creating overlapping circles until it has created a figure of six circles. This is called the Seed of Life or the Genesis Pattern; and, it's the figure that you saw on the first page of this website.Each circle within the Genesis Pattern (which we will be referring to it as the Genesis Pattern for a very good reason) represents one element within the universe (as the Flower of Life is the entire universe (this is the best way to simplify the Flower of Life!)) — and, because it can also represent the six days in the Bible where God is creating the universe, in the first book: Genesis.Of course, if you're not someone who likes religious allusions, you don't even have to account for the fact that the Genesis Pattern possesses that reference — you can just call it the Seed of Life! Regardless, six circles are represented in the figure and each represent their own element. The six main characters and their associated element is below.Yui Sawaguchi represents water, Sawa Taigyoku represents fire, Yuma Souya represents air, Mei Okuyama represents earth, Touko Sugihara represents ether (energy), and Renge Yamabuki represents the void. The void is special in that it does not have an associated platonic solid (shape), as aforementioned.The dodecahedron is the most powerful shape within the Flower of Life, sacred in that it could not have been uttered in ancient times. Who else would be befitting of this shape other than the literal creator of the universe and the spirit of the Flower of Life, Touko Sugihara?It's a really interesting subject and I implore anyone to learn more about the Flower of Life and how deep it manages to bask in the universe. The more you think about it, there really IS no way to disprove the Flower of Life, correct?. . .If you haven't right-clicked the page already, you should do that.The, "Can you help me disprove the Flower of Life?" question is asked many times throughout the story by Renge Yamabuki, who is arguably the main character of Lily of Siwang. After experiencing a bad trip while hospitalized and drugged by some outside force, she undergoes ego death and loses her sense of identity. The psychedelic ruined her life and had her dedicating all available time to disproving this Flower of Life, so, that she could finally be free. However, how do you disprove something that literally represents the universe? And, what does the vague question even mean?Both protagonists, Yui Sawaguchi and Sawa Taigyoku, are faced with this question and left in confusion. However, the story evolves to a greater length with both protagonists' efforts, and it is revealed that the Flower of Life is the reason in why their world was created. In fact, they also find (when doing their breaches on the Canterville Facility, the name of the warehouse you've seen a few times throughout this gallery) that their current world is the second attempt by the spirit's will — being, that Touko Sugihara saw the world end once and willed it back into existence one more time.Why did she do this, though? And, what is the Canterville Facility's role in the Flower of Life? And, how will Renge disprove the Flower of Life?

"I’m just like you, Sawa; only, I’m worse. I’m weak! I’m nothing like how I look to be! I’m a fraud!"

Episode: SawaChapter 8: Renge Yamabuki

We both stare at each other, idling in place for a while. The cheery doctor I always recognized Ayame Yamabuki as before was now devoid of that joy, only embodying a menace's countenance. I don't need any clear, squinted glance of her expression to determine this.It's the stiffness of her spine, its the stretch of her legs. It's the way that Ayame Yamabuki is looking down at me at this moment; and, I'm left with nothing to think of the reality upon me. ". . .What is it with you?" I hear her quietly say, voice mingling with the cold winds that plow through the air. "Why are you so adamant on falling apart and expecting everyone around you to help you up?". . .. . .I only stare at her with my lips parted, ready to say something — and yet, nothing exits. My thoughts are stalled to silence, in wait for her words to continue."You want me to keep going? Sure." The doctor catches on easily. "What is it that's burdening you like this? Was it Souya dying? Was it Okuyama dying? Was it Renge's illness? What was it?" Her words start to escalate in volume, working at a indiscernible pace that was difficult for my fallen figure to follow, eyelids frigid in the cold. "Why is it that you must bring everyone around you down with you?"". . .Yamabuki——""If you're upset, everyone follows suit. If SAWA TAIGYOKU is upset, we all have to be upset!" she shouts out, arms flailed. "And yet, yer still somehow getting your way throughout all of this!"She interrupts me, even when the questions are flooding my brain and beating at the innermost depths of my skull. A headache, either brought on by the pace she spoke at or by the freezing air, starts to resonate within me. "When Okuyama voices that she doesn't want to play any role in being your whistleblower so that you can expose some human experimenters to the world for god-knows-what reason, you pressure her into it. Clarify that one to me: what in the hell were you trying to do? How was that going to benefit you, in any way?"". .Ayame. . ."Her words impede on mine, once more, even when I refer to her by her first name. "Don't clarify that one to me. I don't even think you know yourself why. . .you don't know why you're doing anything you're doing!" Leaning down to me, she gestures with her hand, drawing a finger to her own head. "Or, maybe, it's because yer so fucked in here and you want to die, so you gotta bring everyone down with you because you don't know any better!"You want to kill yourself!? Be my fucking guest, but don't take ANYONE in my family with. Don't take Takato with, don't take me with, and don't take Renge with. You deal with your shit on your OWN." Each word sputters out like physical blows, aches forming across my entire body, in spite of the fact that I am not moving against the snow piling beneath me. "'Cause, ya know what. . .? I'm just like you, Sawa; only, I'm worse! I'm weak! I'm nothing like how I look to be! I'm a fraud!"Ayame's voice wavers. I can't tell what brink of emotions that her being is about to bend on. "But I don't need your problems on the endless list of my own! And THAT'S why I have to speak to you like this!". . .she leans back, relaxing for a moment. The fury striking her body to the cold-hearted flames it had taken on settled to nothingness; but, it lasted for only a moment. It exploded, once more. ". . .because. . .because you don't have anyone else in your goddamn life who's gonna tell you what the FUCK you're doing wrong! No one else is going to make reality real for you! No one else is willing to confront your deluded mindset!". . .I'm left with no words to say, as Ayame turns on her heel. She faces the edge of the hilltop, the back of her winter coat facing me. It's a befitting end to our heated, one-sided confrontation. "If you want to be released. . .then, start figuring out things for yourself. Start working on your OWN. You don't need to bring anyone else into your bullshit," Ayame quietly mutters, the latter end of her sentence almost silent against the whistling snow surrounding us.

"Everyone goes by your word, Sawa. You do whatever the fuck you want to do. So, why’re you hesitating on this?"

Episode: Sawa
Chapter 9: Garden of Death

As I'm glancing to the window, reminiscing on that haunting moment of just a few days past, I hear shuffling at Renge's cot. When I turn to it, I already see her upright — glaring directly at me, eyes frozen in hate, lips trembling by hostility; and, I realize that I've been caught red-handed.The needle resting in my right palm quivers. My body almost threatens to drop it, nearly giving out by this cold stare alone. She turned conscious and aware in just an instant, leaving any plan that I contemplated prior to this moment for no one's sake.It's dark in the room. She's still connected to her IV, fluids drawing into her at every moment. The machine whirrs with every drop flooding into her system, fueling the amount of emotions that pull to her face. Renge's eyes shoot open wide, for an instant, and I realize what kind of position I've put myself in.". . .no. . ."Although the furrow of her eyebrows is present and the glint in her eyes remains belligerent, she is scared. I acknowledge that Renge Yamabuki has already considered the worst of actions — and, I mistakenly fumble to correct myself. "I'm. . .I'm not gonna——"". . .Sawa. . ."My name is let out like a breath. I do not complete my sentence. "You want to put me out of my misery?" I hear her quietly articulate, the volume she spoke at in the same timing of the whirring beside her. "Why the hell are you here?". .We're left in silence. I have nothing to say; at least, nothing that would aid this situation for what it was now. How does she see me right now? Is this is the same as every other dream she wrote about? Am I forcing her to relive something that she wants to escape? These questions drown my brain in misery, only to help me realize that they are not worthwhile to my cause. She wants to escape this. . .she doesn't want to disprove the Flower of Life anymore, she just wants to get away.The more that I stall, the more that I compromise this deed. I want her to forget. I want her to live without that burden — of knowing me, of knowing the horrors behind this ill world, of seeing her mother die."You can't even say anything, can you?" Renge persists, reminding me of the fact that she had asked an unanswered question. ". . .I had this feeling. I had a feeling that you would do something like this, eventually, that you would just snap and take everyone down with you.". . .Almost immediately, this confrontation seems like a repetition of my conversation with Renge's mother on the hilltop. The idea of taking everyone down with me when I'm falling. . .—— "I'm. . .I'm trying to. .save you. . ."I can hardly say the words. My mouth is dry; and, I quickly realize an unfortunate emotion that has been cast over my being. A curtain of sorrow, a deluging premonition of emptiness that afflicts me from the inside. My throat is seized by a feeling I had grown unused to, concealing any chance that I. . .Sawa Taigyoku. . .could ever cry, ever again, in my life."You're crying."I hear Renge say the words. My eyes shut tight as hot tears coat my face in the pathetic reality of our roles in this world. What the hell is wrong with me?". . .You want to do this, don't you? What the hell is wrong with you?" Renge repeats my own mind's words, aloud. I realize that any connection that we had before was now severed by this action and our misconceptions of each other; and, there would be no taking it back. "You don't hesitate. Everyone goes by your word, Sawa. You do whatever the fuck you want to do. So, why're you hesitating on this?". . .I cannot formulate the words to relay why. However, I know what I will be doing to her next. Our destroyed trust of this interaction will now be buried deep into the ground, stomped upon by the unruly, and forgotten forever.

"You're going to help me disprove the Flower of Life."

Episode: SawaChapter 9: Garden of Death

I stare at Touko Sugihara, whom I don't remember missing one arm when we first met, with a hatred I don't think I've ever looked at anyone with before. Just several minutes ago, I was. . .. . .No. I don't need to think about that. My expression already wavers in front of the enigmatic spirit who is staring at me with a face covered in blurriness. Even now, my vision never fails to hinder me. It doesn't take any necessity for glasses, though, for me to figure out that this girl has been through hell. . .. . .after all, there's that silhouette, missing an arm. She finally breaks the silence, speaking in a voice that contrasted her usual tiredness from the first time we interacted in the plant nursery: "You did that all by yourself, huh?"For a moment, I'm not sure what she's questioning. As my eyebrows furrow and eyes narrow, I reply haughtily, stating, "Yeah. She'll be alright now."—— Renge Yamabuki. The woman I love, the woman I drugged. The woman I induced into ego death, so that she could forget me and everything else about this horrible world. . .just for the meantime. She is better off re-learning reality rather than remembering what has broken her. Touko Sugihara glares at me, as if in disbelief or questioning my ability to take action on Renge's psyche like that."You think so? Well——""Can you help me disprove the Flower of Life?". . .I ask the words, slow and enunciated. It's as cold as ever on the top of this plateau; and, I make it clear enough to Touko Sugihara what I want from her. Unexpected to my parroted question from Renge, though, she begins laughing in my face. It's a quiet one; and, almost bashful. I can see how anyone can mistake this girl for the embodiment of innocence."I can't help you disprove that. . .don't you already know that, already? 'Disproving the Flower of Life' was Takuya Miwa's motivation for creating the acanter virus, to plague the world with something 'nonhuman'. . .to prove that something outside of the boundaries of the overlapping circles existed. She caused global chaos for Renge's sake." Touko's voice takes on a tone that is both soured and sarcastic, as she brushes her one available hand through a few locks of hair. "Isn't that ridiculous? She didn't even know Renge. All she knew about her was that someone had potentially experimented on her in some way. . .but, I guess it was emotion-driven. She knew enough to act so recklessly."—— "You're wrong."I almost interrupt Touko's entire end of her sentence. As Ayame's descriptions of Renge's bad trip come into mind, and Renge's entries of the dream journal repeating themselves in a haunting fashion, and our interaction from just several minutes past on the fifth floor of the hospital. . .my voice cannot help but to grow hostile. Ready to burst at the seams, I push out the few sentences necessary before my sanity breaks loose.". . .Takuya Miwa. . .created the acanter virus. . .t'a disprove the Flower of Life, yeah. . .but she didn't do it for Renge's sake, n' she didn't do it for yer unrequited love's sake, either."I notice Touko's expression souring once I mention Yui.". . .she did it to hunt you down and kill you. That's what it means to disprove the Flower of Life.". . .and that's why she killed herself, too. That's the corpse I walked upon on the same day I met Touko Sugihara. Only, she failed — she killed the wrong person responsible for all of this bullshit. . .responsible for Yui's suffering, Takuya's suffering, Mei's suffering, Yuma's suffering, and Renge's suffering. . .". . .Touko Sugihara. I'm not gonna ask this time around," I state firmly, drawing out my fireaxe to point straight ahead against the silhouette. "You're going to help me disprove the Flower of Life."

"And for some reason, I keep going."

Episode: SawaChapter 10: Flower of Life

There's a cavity resting at the forefront of the beach; the line connecting the water to the sand, a large oval is etched out. . .and, I know very well what caused it.An autumn chill runs over the two of us. We're huddled close together to try and avoid it; and, the mere presence of Renge is enough to sober me from the reality of what took place here. Mei Okuyama. . .the whistleblower, the girl who mustered her only strength available to help save the world. The girl who died right in front of me, right here.My role in this world, currently, only exists because of her. My role in this world, currently, only exists because of Yuma and Ayame's aid on Canterville Facility break-ins. My role in this world, currently, only exists because Yui figured out that the virus was man-made and sent the creator to her death. My role in this world, currently, only exists because Touko Sugihara is no longer here to interfere it. . .and for some reason, I keep going.. . .My role in this world, presently, currently, only exists because of Takato Yamabuki and Renge Yamabuki. The man who saved my life and the woman whom I love.Another chill brushes over us. I am warmed by her existence. I am warmed by her happiness. I am warmed by her safety, as I turn to her with my untensed eyes and glance to that smile.An uneasy feeling passes over me, though. Oftentimes, I question whether or not this feeling of security should be one that I resonate it. I wonder when the time will come where she will meet her demise per her forever-wavering health, or if I will lose myself like before. . .. . .however, as long as Renge Yamabuki is here, I think I'll be just fine.As I continue staring to her, assuring that the sight in front of me is reality, she slightly cranes her neck to face me. I am met with the occurrence of our two noses almost pressed together, faces unnaturally close (but not uncomfortably so). My lips part, almost in a shock or a precedent to my mind's impending action — however, before I can even lean closer, she suddenly swipes my glasses off of my face.My vision returns to its usual blurriness. She maneuvers her hands in a way I cannot properly see, only before her quiet words can confirm her deed. "You don't know how to keep your glasses clean. . ."I chew on my bottom lip. "You can't blame me," I respond to Renge, "I can't remember the last time I've worn them. . ."The glasses are new. At least, a few months new. I've gotten used to the feeling of a weight resting over the bridge of my nose along with any filth that may rest against the lens; but, Renge doesn't ignore it. These instances of her randomly hindering my vision by taking off my glasses to clean them are frequented — to the point that Renge invested in a handerkerchief just for this reason.While my thoughts settle on my inability to keep my glasses in a presentable state, she suddenly sets the glasses back unto the bridge of my nose — awkwardly, at that.My mind is halted by this action. I turn my head away from Renge for her to avoid my bashful look, resting my thoughts on the future. Is she going to do this for as long as we're together? Is she going to abruptly take off my glasses when we're having a nice moment?!—— "What're you thinking about?"I suddenly whip my head back to her. She's taken aback by how fast I turn to her; and, I try to settle my tension by retrieving a small pebble resting on the sandy beach beneath me. As I rub the rock in the palm of my hand, I quietly reply with, "I'm thinking about you."Then, I throw the rock against the ocean's surface, allowing it to skip a futile amount of times.

"The Garden of Death. The Flower of Life. The Lily of Siwang. The girls pioneering the end of this world."

This is the end of the White Series.
Thank you for partaking in this journey.

Yes, death.
Death must be so beautiful.
To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence.
To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow.
To forget time, to forget life, to be at peace.You can help me.
You can open for me the portals of death's house, for love is always with you, and love is stronger than death is.
- Oscar Wilde, "The Canterville Ghost" (1887)

Ten months have passed since the beginning of the acanter pandemic, a inhuman catastrophe that is truly a zombie apocalypse blanketed by medical terms and the upheavals of hospitals. Society denotes Iwasuma, Japan, a fictional island west of Hokkaido, for being the location of where the world turned upside down and where people began turning into walking corpses; so now, protagonists Yui Sawaguchi and Sawa Taigyoku are seeking answers.Polar opposites in motives and personality, but shared in their goals, these two protagonists will lead separate stories that ultimately uncover disturbing truths behind the world they were already unfamiliar with. Philosophy, love, trauma, family, life, illness, friendship, and death are all themes explored within Lily of Siwang as these two high school students face terrors beyond their human understanding.The story takes place in 1992 and ends in 1995, where several months have passed and the world has healed due to the efforts of Sawa Taigyoku in urging the people around her to do what they could. When I created Lily of Siwang and it was a story still titled "Hyacinth Warts," my thought was that there would be two protagonists; but, neither of them would be the main character. Renge Yamabuki, in the end, would always be the main character.Over time, though, I grew a fondness to Sawa and her development. While I still consider Renge to be the main character of the story, there's no denying that Sawa is the reason for that. She gives Renge the purpose that she has in the story.That's why they're the only two living main characters at the end. . .yep, only those two, and then we have our Vitruvian Man: Aruto Hisakawa, or Takato Yamabuki. The sudden drop of his latter name may have been confusing during the interlude after the thirteenth drawing; but, they're the same person. Aruto Hisakawa is a pseudonym. I didn't think it would be ideal for him to die in any way; and, he saves Sawa, in the end.I hope, whomever you are, that you enjoyed my works and the things that I create. This story has been ruminating in my mind for over two years now; and, I cannot wait to make it a reality. By fulfilling the fifteen drawings of the White Series, you are also belonging to this journey where I put a story of all my fictional girls dying into motion. I implore the reader to check out some of the most elaborate themes represented throughout this story, such as the Flower of Life and the Canterville Ghost.Each element of this website is created by me. The art, the interface, and the music are all important to the experience (and I hope that the looped piano was not overly annoying). If you have any questions regarding these characters, my art, or just in general, feel free to contact me whenever. I love talking about my work and I'll see you again, soon. Take care.https://410.ju.mp/
https://siwang.crd.co/